Believe me, I have been there! If your job leaves you pressed for time, if you can’t afford to go to the trendy singles’ bars on the regular or if the only man making a pass at you is the sleazy man at the local deli… You might want to try online dating. I have many girlfriends who have tried and many of them are still doing it! Before I found my husband, I had a profile on 3 different dating sites due to my busy workload. I was never out during the week and my weekends were spent bar-tending. No men were trying to score dates; no one was asking for my digits… I felt like I was on a dead-end road to becoming a lonely cat lady (well– if I liked cats, that may be the case).
When I broke my foot a few years ago, I had a lot of time to surf the web. One of my friends urged me to try nerve.com which was less commercial than the well-known match.com and eharmony.com sites. She helped me set up my profile, trying to reveal my personality to the best of my ability through pictures and little secrets (like my late night addiction of Victoria’s Secret catalogue shopping!). I thought my profile was pretty rock’n so I ventured into “winking” at men and sending little “hellos”. I started scoring dates left and right! At times, I had a lunch date with one man and scheduled “drinks” later that night with another man. I was super social! Even if I didn’t find my F.L.P. (Future Life Partner) on the online dating circuit, I was having fun time trying!
Now… dating can be really fun! But I made a list of 10 pointers for “.com dating”:
1.) Always meet in a public place– that one should be obvious!
2.) Do not give him your phone number until after the first meeting. If you don’t enjoy the encounter, you can at least avoid a stalker!
3.) Never meet for dinner on the first meeting. Always opt for coffee or a cocktail. This way you can leave the situation within 30min-1hr rather than facing a grueling dinner with a Mr Wrong.
4.) Beware of profile pictures that are only of his face. Request to see more pics to get a full body shot. One of my girlfriends showed up to a date who had no shoulders… seriously he went from neck to elbows! I came across a few shorties with my experience as well… it´s pretty easy to lie about your profile height to attract more dates.
5.) Don’t drink too much if you are meeting for cocktails. This is your first impression, keep it quick, courteous and don’t look like a lush (it could be a big turnoff). Stick to one, maybe 2, cocktails at most.
6.) NEVER sleep with him on the first date! Unless you are only looking to make a booty call out of him, he won’t be so responsive after– again he will have lost respect for you. If you are feeling frisky, masturbate before you leave the house to try to calm down your urges!
7) Don’t wear something too revealing on date one. If you are looking to start a relationship with someone, scandalous attire will provoke “sex”. If you want him to look you in the eye, don´t distract him with your cleavage!
8.) Be sure to tell a girlfriend or your mom where you are heading– just in case something bad were to happen (remember the crazy craigslist psycho-killer near Boston!)
9.) Never bring up past relationships on the first date (his or yours!) And if for any chance he brings it up, change topics quickly. Being hung up on the past is not a positive sign that you are prepared to move forward with the future.
10.) Lastly, always make an attempt to help him pay the bill. Just because you are meeting up, it does not mean it is a date. We are in a modern world. The woman can pay up! If he asks you for dinner after the first encounter… He may be chivalrous enough to front the bill!
All in all, .com-dating is a great way to meet new people if your job or weekly routine doesn’t lend to socializing. Go out and have fun “dating!”. It might take 30+ different dates before one actually clicks. Don’t get discouraged either. Think of each one as “practice”, making you a better dater, learn more about yourself and build up some self confidence. Every time you have to tell a new person “your story” you have another chance to learn more about how yourself. Your tune may change with each first encounter– just remember to be honest, stay sober and keep your panties on!!
Good Luck!!
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Hi,
I gave internet dating a try after my brothers wedding. He met his bride on Salon.com.
It was a nice change of pace to chill out in the comfort of my home, and troll for cuties, while wearing pajamas. One thing i didn’t like, was that some sites asked me to post my yearly income. I can’t imaging a woman even asking me that and couldn’t help to think it would affect the responses i got to my profile. So, it was tough not to pad my salary a bit. But I never lied about my height!